At the mag, our EIC (editor-in-chief) sends out emails to the entire staff from our readers, who are by far, the funniest people in the world. One letter that stands out is a ranting from a perturbed reader who infamously begged our Beauty Director to give Star Jones and Jennifer Hudson a makeover, covering up their “cow titties.” Yes, cruel and crazy.
Eccentricities aside, sometimes our readers have a point: too many celebs are missing the mark and are in need of some professional makeover magic. Maybe because Halloween’s approaching, or there could just be something in the water, but this week more than ever, celebs came out looking a burning, flaming, sizzling, oxidizing, hot mess.
So here are the looks the glamazons could have done without this week. In between laughing and sharing with your co-workers, please say a quick prayer for them…
Mel B., who is fly under most any other circumstance, is dressed like a video girl from outerspace. Her outdated updo makes her appear all the more extraterrestial; it looks as if something is growing out of her head. And why the hood and the low-cut neckline? Your head is cold, but your boobs aren’t? I’m confused.
Mmmm…this is an infection waiting to happen. Everyone knows leggings are tight but balance it out with a loose-fitting top, I beg of you. The leather corset and stilettos make ‘Tasia look like she should be strutting down Hunt’s Point like it’s for sale and the rent was due yesterday (a la Miss J). This season’s sexy is understated, subtle and mysterious, not out there for the world to see. And speaking of visibility, take a seat and that camel toe is going to be on full display. Are you gagging yet (cause I am)?
This is seven types of wrong. Clunky boots, booty shorts, baggy halter, bra peeking out, no, no, no! Shar is a beautiful girl with an amazing shape. And though this outfit highlights her killer legs, the shorts and sagging top make her look even more top-heavy and bottomless. Plus the fabric is cheap and the shoes are two sizes too big (that space between your heel and the back of the shoe? It’s telling on you, Shar).
Golden Brooks, three words: Covergirl Queen Collection. There is a foundation for your shade. And while you’re buying it at Target, get an iron for that cover-up that looks like you slept in it overnight. Furthermore, the lace* and sleepwear trends shouldn’t look like you threw on some jeans and came outside in your pajamas.
*Sidenote to black women everywhere, lingerie “nude” is not our nude. When in doubt, black undergarments are the way to go.
Ladies, not everybody can be Rih Rih or Posh, I know. And even glamazons have bad days. But what you’ve just witnessed is a week of foolishness. And like our readers say, they’re in need of makeovers and prayers.